musings.

I've been back at school for 2 weeks now, and so far (knock on wood) there haven't been any crises. I survived the dreaded "Preschool in America" lessons. However, what's difficult about conducting a lesson on something I know virtually nothing about (Seriously, my brain is full of facts about bears, Mexican food titles and the languages of Middle Earth, NOT early childhood development. LET'S BE REAL.) is the assumption that I am some fort of godlike expert, sent from the land of eagles and extreme couponing, burgers and beauty pageants.

I do my best to research what I don't know, scour articles and entries and try to absorb as many facts about Pre-K education as I can but, i can only do so much. When the students ask me questions about the inner workings of a kindergarten I can only speak from experience, I can only explain how schools vary from city to city, state to state, public to private, etc. If I cannot confirm or deny one of their claims or questions, I feel a bit like a lumpy useless failure. I have to remind myself that I am not the Encyclopedia Britanica, or even it's much more popular, limelight-stealing sibling Wikipedia. I'm not a dictionary, either. I think the teachers forget this small yet REALLY IMPORTANT fact, that I'm just a 22 year old recent college graduate trying to figure out this thing called "adultihood" or whatever, and that while I am resourceful and witty and pretty, I'm not all-knowing. Of course I won't admit the huge gaps in my American knowledge, but I will grumble internally to myself and curse the heavens whilst frantically googling things like "food deserts" and "weird British phrases." ( Due to the texbooks used at the schools being British English, I often have no clue what certain words or phrases mean. "I've never heard than used in America…must be British" comes out of my mouth twice daily, at least.)

Aside from making the youth of Austria smarter, better, sassier human beings, I've been spending my time with my nose pressed in some books. Namely, A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin.

If I could marry books, I might marry these. or at least be in a committed relationship.

Know that show Game of Thrones that's one of the best things on television? Yeah, based on these beasts. Each book is no less than 600 pages and full of dragons, war, snow, incest, magic and wolves. SO COOL RIGHT?! I finished the first in a week, and am since halfway through Clash of Kings. Can we say new obsession? I just want to read always. ALWAYS READING OKAY? When I haven't been reading (or eating) I've been drawing.

We Were Bears

My friend Christina is in a band titled We Were Bears and they're planning on releasing an EP soon, so she asked if I could do the album art for them. The only instructions I was given were "Our bodies with big bear heads." So, THERE YOU HAVE IT. I haven't drawn anything remotely "serious" in a long time. Also haven't drawn anything without a cartoon version of me in even longer! I bought special drawing pencils and everything for this lil' project. I need to clean up the lines and work on the bodies but, you get the idea. Will scan it this week sometime and edit the image further when MY TABLET ARRIVES IN THE MAIL <3 <3 <3 I cannot wait to make art things on the computer.

And lastly, this week I've been mulling over (read: stressing about, panicking over, freaking out etc.) the notion that I'm an adult. I thought of this brain gem the other day:  Warning! Adulthood may include but is not limited to: responsibility, feelings of overwhelming ineptitude, ennui, & utter lack of directio.
I am so clever. Anyway. Here's a flow chart that aptly describes the panic young people feel these days:

In the next few weeks I'll be applying for an extension of my stay here in Graz (my teachers seem pretty jazzed about this. woo!) and will find out come Apri if I'm the chosen one. But, I suppose I ought to explore options for if I don't get chosen, right? Like, do I need to apply for jobs or programs or what? If you haven't gathered by now (then gods, you're slow.) I don't actually have a plan for the future. I was never one of those over-achieving bastards who'd planned out the next 10 years by their second day of Freshman year. I'm definitely from the "just wing it, you'll be fine, and if not, poverty is really popular these days" school of thought, also known as "hey, let's major in something really useless!" and "i have a large working knowledge of cat pictures found on the internet. that's what this job requires, right?" and lastly, "my glasses make me look smart. that's half the battle, isn't it?"

My friends keep posting accomplished statuses about this grad school application, that fellowship, and the seven hundred different jobs they're looking into... I'm happy for them, that's terrific, but the only fellowship I'm qualified for involves 4 hobbits, 1 elf, 2 men, a wizard and a dwarf. Whatever. But..any suggestions as to where I should turn my giant, glowing eye of evil next? Just in case Austria isn't meant to be?
Because this cat best describes how I feel on the matter.

YEAH.