of tablets and things

Man, tea is delicious. I've recently rediscovered rice milk and it makes tea EVEN MORE DELICIOUS. Who would have thought. Would you have thought? I think not. This blog post is sadly not about rice milk. If it were, the title would have been "of rice milk and things" (though I suppose, rice milk falls into the "and things" category quite nicely...) I DIGRESS.

Tablets. No, I'm not talking about iPads or whatever ill-favored version Microsoft has. Nor am I talking about pills (British English is so weird.) I am talking about graphic drawing tablets. Why? BECAUSE I HAVE ONE NOW. Have you ever wanted something, a gift perhaps, but didn't actually know how much use it would get once you got it? Like maybe that Collector's Edition Twist 'N' Shout Barbie you begged your mom for...And once you got her, she was great but too pretty to play with 'cause she had real eyelashes and her waist swiveled AND YOU DIDN'T WANT TO RUIN HER. ....Did this suddenly weirdly uncomfortably personal anecdote have a point..? Erm, sorry.

What I mean to say, I think, is that I wanted this here tablet, but had never used a tablet before so didn't know how useful it would be/how intuitive/how anything. I just knew it was a thing I wanted. It looks like this: 

Well, my Wacom Bamboo Create is no Twist 'N' Shout Barbie. I have not stopped drawing since it arrived at my door Friday afternoon. The installation process of course was hell, and some parts of it were in German (?????) but I PREVAILED. And I managed to download Photoshop so now I can make even cooler things. THIS IS BASICALLY THE BEST THING EVER. I was so worried it would somehow disappoint me, or I would disappoint myself and be terrible and just an awful artist (sometimes I am) but so far, I can't stop playing with it. I keep finding new features, new shortcuts.....I'm metaphorically rolling through a meadow of daisies here.

 I mean LOOK HOW MUCH FUN SHE'S HAVING.

I have mildly grand delusions, or at least aspirations, about becoming a comedic comic blogger. And this tool will help make it possible, if it's meant to be. Once I work out most of the kinks, I'll be making obnoxious autobiographical comics ALL DAY EVERY DAY. Except when I'm working. (Can you believe we live in a time where comedic comic blogger is a PROFESSION?!)
Now I'm going to give you a visual journey through my first weekend with my tablet. These are the "works" I've created in chronological order. So hopefully they get better. Or something.

Exhibit A: Playing with generic Bamboo program. Whilst on Skype. It's like fingerpainting without the mess!

Exhibit B: I've decided to draw the Ugly Animals Club

Exhibit 3:  I don't even know where this came from.

Another Exhibit: 1st Photoshop creation

Exhibit is a weird word:  Most of my dreams consist of something like this

I'm tired of the word Exhibit:  Lololol Not a Wizard

Exhibit Number Something: Self portrait thing

That's it. For now. So get ready world, I'm going to become a recluse and somehow morph into a part of my tablet. SUNLIGHT IS FOR THE WEAK OF HEART.

Happy Sunday.

musings.

I've been back at school for 2 weeks now, and so far (knock on wood) there haven't been any crises. I survived the dreaded "Preschool in America" lessons. However, what's difficult about conducting a lesson on something I know virtually nothing about (Seriously, my brain is full of facts about bears, Mexican food titles and the languages of Middle Earth, NOT early childhood development. LET'S BE REAL.) is the assumption that I am some fort of godlike expert, sent from the land of eagles and extreme couponing, burgers and beauty pageants.

I do my best to research what I don't know, scour articles and entries and try to absorb as many facts about Pre-K education as I can but, i can only do so much. When the students ask me questions about the inner workings of a kindergarten I can only speak from experience, I can only explain how schools vary from city to city, state to state, public to private, etc. If I cannot confirm or deny one of their claims or questions, I feel a bit like a lumpy useless failure. I have to remind myself that I am not the Encyclopedia Britanica, or even it's much more popular, limelight-stealing sibling Wikipedia. I'm not a dictionary, either. I think the teachers forget this small yet REALLY IMPORTANT fact, that I'm just a 22 year old recent college graduate trying to figure out this thing called "adultihood" or whatever, and that while I am resourceful and witty and pretty, I'm not all-knowing. Of course I won't admit the huge gaps in my American knowledge, but I will grumble internally to myself and curse the heavens whilst frantically googling things like "food deserts" and "weird British phrases." ( Due to the texbooks used at the schools being British English, I often have no clue what certain words or phrases mean. "I've never heard than used in America…must be British" comes out of my mouth twice daily, at least.)

Aside from making the youth of Austria smarter, better, sassier human beings, I've been spending my time with my nose pressed in some books. Namely, A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin.

If I could marry books, I might marry these. or at least be in a committed relationship.

Know that show Game of Thrones that's one of the best things on television? Yeah, based on these beasts. Each book is no less than 600 pages and full of dragons, war, snow, incest, magic and wolves. SO COOL RIGHT?! I finished the first in a week, and am since halfway through Clash of Kings. Can we say new obsession? I just want to read always. ALWAYS READING OKAY? When I haven't been reading (or eating) I've been drawing.

We Were Bears

My friend Christina is in a band titled We Were Bears and they're planning on releasing an EP soon, so she asked if I could do the album art for them. The only instructions I was given were "Our bodies with big bear heads." So, THERE YOU HAVE IT. I haven't drawn anything remotely "serious" in a long time. Also haven't drawn anything without a cartoon version of me in even longer! I bought special drawing pencils and everything for this lil' project. I need to clean up the lines and work on the bodies but, you get the idea. Will scan it this week sometime and edit the image further when MY TABLET ARRIVES IN THE MAIL <3 <3 <3 I cannot wait to make art things on the computer.

And lastly, this week I've been mulling over (read: stressing about, panicking over, freaking out etc.) the notion that I'm an adult. I thought of this brain gem the other day:  Warning! Adulthood may include but is not limited to: responsibility, feelings of overwhelming ineptitude, ennui, & utter lack of directio.
I am so clever. Anyway. Here's a flow chart that aptly describes the panic young people feel these days:

In the next few weeks I'll be applying for an extension of my stay here in Graz (my teachers seem pretty jazzed about this. woo!) and will find out come Apri if I'm the chosen one. But, I suppose I ought to explore options for if I don't get chosen, right? Like, do I need to apply for jobs or programs or what? If you haven't gathered by now (then gods, you're slow.) I don't actually have a plan for the future. I was never one of those over-achieving bastards who'd planned out the next 10 years by their second day of Freshman year. I'm definitely from the "just wing it, you'll be fine, and if not, poverty is really popular these days" school of thought, also known as "hey, let's major in something really useless!" and "i have a large working knowledge of cat pictures found on the internet. that's what this job requires, right?" and lastly, "my glasses make me look smart. that's half the battle, isn't it?"

My friends keep posting accomplished statuses about this grad school application, that fellowship, and the seven hundred different jobs they're looking into... I'm happy for them, that's terrific, but the only fellowship I'm qualified for involves 4 hobbits, 1 elf, 2 men, a wizard and a dwarf. Whatever. But..any suggestions as to where I should turn my giant, glowing eye of evil next? Just in case Austria isn't meant to be?
Because this cat best describes how I feel on the matter.

YEAH.

the internet

Like many of my generation, I spend most of my time nestled against the familiar warmth and comfort of the internet's bosom. If I'm not liking your picture on facebook, tweeting my sass to all 21 of my twitter followers or reblogging a picture of a cat in a party hat on tumblr, then I'm probably wishing I were.

As a product of the 90's, I grew up with my nose pressed against television and computer screens (partly due to poor vision), with fingerstips firmly prodding remote controls and keyboards (though not the piano. I barely touched that thing. SORRY SEVERAL WASTED YEARS OF PIANO LESSONS. don't get me started on the clarinet) I find solace in the faint glow of my laptop's screen, revel in the notion of "online friends" and have even taken a stab at the wild and crazy world of free online dating. I am a modern woman, unafraid of technology and full of cool ideas like blogs about bears in space (check this bad boy out Intergalactic Space Bears yeah, that's my handiwork.) However...

GOOD GOD IS THE INTERNET DISTRACTING. I don't know how the minutes and hours roll by without my notice. One minute I'm giggling at a witty comment, the next thing I know it's dark, I'm hungry, and I've gone through every photo album of a friend of a friend of a friend on facebook. How does this happen?! The internet is a gift and a curse. It's basically the one ring. Or the Elder Wand or *insert fantasy/science fiction object of great destruction and power here*  But while I've been here in Austria, the internet has also been a huge lifesaver.

Part of my job requires the ability to be really flexible, creative and damn good at a well-timed Google search. My teachers often ask me to lead a class on a topic I know little or nothing about, or simply don't have the faintest clue how to make it interesting. Some topics I've done so far that required extensive cyberspace searching were:
The Differences between Men and Women
Social Media
Weather
Nursery School Activities.*

In all of these classes, the internet saved my life. Do you know how many sweet videos are floating  around youtube? Or how many relevant blogs there are? (not like mine.) I briefly worked as a slave (intern) at my father's office a couple summers back and helped build an educational library of cool youtube videos, games, websites, etc. that would be useful in the classroom and now I'm realizing how helpful such a library can be. I was so ahead of the curve. I'm a professional now. Basically, give me a subject and I can find a kickass video, or article or image or soundclip. I OWN THE INTERNET.


Without Google, I would often be at a loss as to how to capture the attention of 15 sixteen year olds.

* I actually have this class tomorrow and am frantically looking for stuff. I know nothing about teaching pre-school kids. Is it even teaching or just song-singing and nap time? But, by 9 am tomorrow I'll have something. Or else I'll make them sing Baa Baa Black Sheep for 50 minutes.

2013

I know I know, no one keeps their New Year's resolutions past the first week of February, but hey, I've grown accustomed to gentle failure so I may as well give it go. There must be some super secret method for actually achieving your goals and dreams, right? My method is typically just apathy doused in procrastination with a hint of panic, but that formula only really works best for Film Lit term papers.

I've been asked a few times now what I've resolved to do in the year 2013 (aka the future. we live in the future.) Normally I'd say things like "GET A HOT MANCAKE COVERED IN BEEFSAUCE TO LOVE ME."* but that seems a tad unreasonable. I think I'll tone it down a notch from previous unrealistic pipedreams, like becoming a princess, for example. If only it were so simple… All right, here is my list of resolutions for the year 2013 that i have just now thought up at 1 pm on a Monday, fueled only by tea and sugar, in no particular order.

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS YEAH PARTY:

•  Successfully budget finances: I've had several unsuccessful attempts before now

• Follow through on plans for the summer, no matter how daunting: I tend to get overwhelmed easily, discouraged by anxiety and stress which lead to my becoming a hermit and poor sleep patterns. I've planned a giant travel-filled adventurous summer with my best friend, and while it sounds incredibly awesome, the logistics have me in a panic.  The plan is to volunteer on farms/be a tourist in Croatia and Finland (other countries possible) before heading out for roughly a month long adventure in New Zealand!

• Climb more hills to become more fit for said upcoming trek. Don't wait to die of an asthma attack.

• Take my comics more seriously: draw every day no matter what, and learn to use the graphic tablet I was given for Christmas. I have a dream of creating a humorous comic-filled humor blog based on my misadventures, that creates a bit of profit, or at least mild internet fame.

• Read more. I have all the time in the world. There's no excuse for not reading.

• Do more with German.

• Figure out how to terminate my lease….

• Seriously plan for the future. Look into every job option, scour the US for work, look into masters programs that actually interest me abroad and at home, just…TRY AND FIGURE IT OUT MAN. But at the same time, try not to feel discouraged by how large the world is and how insignificant i am in the scheme of things. I need to shake of the ennui of my generation, to shed the ridiculous notion that I have to be successful and great by the time I'm 25. It probably won't happen. I want to be happy, independent and doing something that doesn't bore me to tears, but I don't have to have "found my bliss" by then. Also, fuck that saying. It's dumb.


There you go. HAPPY NEW YEAR OR SOMETHING.

*this refers to a man, not an edible carnivore's dream.

baby it's cold outside

Christmastime is here. HAPPINESS AND CHEER.

Christmas market am Glockenspielplatz

Christmas is quite possibly the best holiday ever. Not even the best holiday, the best time of year. Why? Everything is covered in glitter. Lights hang from everything. Christmas markets. Everything smells like gingerbread and cinnamon. PRESENTS. No school/work/responsibility for a few days. Snow. Christmas music. Carols. Cake. Reindeer antlers. Decorating the Christmas tree. TINSEL FOR DAYS.

Every shop window here in Graz has some sort of christmasy display, be it big or small. What matters  is that its there. Christmas is alive and well here in my little Austrian hideaway. Lights hang from every building, over the streets and alleyways. There's a giant Christmas tree at Hauptplatz, snow is currently scattered around the city...EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL.

Franziskanerplatz

When I was younger, Christmas meant two things: the first was clearly presents. PRESENTS PRESENTS PRESENTS. As an only child, I got lots of presents. AND I LOVED IT. I still love presents, but I no longer ask for things like giant Barbie Dream Houses or puppies. Now I just want to be with the family, have the most stuff in my stocking, and eat lots of food. Also, now that I'm older, my presents aren't limited to the fluffy Beanie Baby variety. SO MANY MORE OPTIONS!
Now the second meaning of Christmas was the Heinrichs Family Tradition of attending a dinner party on Christmas Eve, one that we've attended for about 18 years of my life. Several families would come together under the roof of one of the nicest, quirkiest, most welcoming and wittiest couples I've had the pleasure of knowing. I looked forward to this night every year. I would don my Christmas dress when I was a wee lass, be paraded about, play with a pack of grandsons and generally eat everything in sight. When I got older, it was a chance to talk to cool liberal adults, eat just as much food, and prove that I, too, could be smart and witty. And we'd sing carols. In recent years, this tradition slowly stopped. This wonderfully warm family lost both a mother and daughter to cancer in but a few short years. And although they're gone, I know I always have 18 perfect Christmas Eves to remember them by.

Christmas for me has never registered on the religious level. Sure, we'd have a few manger scenes scattered about the house but I attribute this to my mother's Catholic Hispanic heritage rather than any firm belief in the story of the birth of Jesus Christ. We didn't go to mass or church. It just wasn't a thing. Mostly Christmas meant and means family. We'd decorate the house together, decorate the tree as a 3 person family unit. We always did this together, even if it meant waiting until 3 days before Christmas due to university schedules. We use the same ornaments that my dad has had for over 50 years, the same ornaments my mom has had since she began teaching before I was born. Our tree topper is a plastic golden star that belonged to my grandma Leona, which probably cost less than $5 but to me is priceless. We hang stockings for the pets, put up every Christmas card we receive, drink eggnog and listen to the same 4 Christmas albums. We visit family, eat tamales on the "bad" side of town, go to CALM to see the lights and spend stressful evenings wrapping presents before going out into the cold to this or that party. Christmas is when my dad doesn't have to work late, when my mom and I don't argue and when I could put an ugly sweater on my overweight dachshund.

Parents, Christmas 2008

And even though I won't be "home" for Christmas this year, I'm still surrounded by the essence of it. Every day in Graz until I leave for England on the 22nd is a merry, Glühwein-filled romp. Christmas lights guide me home from a night out, I see happy families window shopping and eating roasted chestnuts. When I meet my parents in Essex, even though we won't be in California, it'll still be Christmas. And it'll still be our 3 person family unit. And that's what counts. Though, I will miss the tamales....

Reindeer <3